Is Climbing Zero-Sum?

In some ways, traveling acts as a litmus test for the strength and purity of your love for climbing. With more exposure to people, places, and pitches, the majority of us realize this solemn truth - we are small fish in a VERY big pond.

Yours truly climbing in the "big pond" that is Rifle, June 2021
Simply Read (13d/8b)
Photo: John Heidbreder

You see, I'd venture to say the majority of climbers (certainly of those I've met), started climbing before they were adults. As kids or teenagers, we have a natural inclination to prove ourselves, to best others, and to use these acts as a way of fitting in. It feels good to be good. This mentality evolves, and eventually trickles into our relationship with climbing as adults. As it becomes harder to stay relevant, or at least, feel relevant, a lot of people shove climbing aside. School, career, family, injury - these are all reasons cited to excuse people's drop in commitment. And it makes sense. When we are young, we have so little with which to define ourselves. We go to school, and we sometimes have one or two other things we do (i.e. climbing). As we grow older, those same reasons for leaving or declining in climbing are indeed very significant things with which to define oneself. 

I am 26 years old, and I've been climbing for ten years now. In hindsight, what I think always set me apart was my commitment. My commitment to climbing sometimes came in drastic forms. I abandoned finding a job when I graduated, in lieu of a life spent traveling - a life sponsored by my own manual labor, some naivete, and most of my meager savings. My deified passion guided the next minute, hour, day, week, month, and year of my life. 

Four or so months of this would pay for the rest of my year to be spent climbing and traveling. Backbreaking work in the midwestern wind farms.

Has that changed? 

Well, it's starting to. What I'm realizing in my "old age", is that I have spent a great deal of my time subscribed to the paradigm that climbing is a zero sum game. Every choice favoring climbing over normalcy, over a career, over financial security, over a stable relationship, over other interests, over my own health even - every one of these choices I made was under the pretense that it left me with more to gain from climbing. After all, by definition of "zero-sum", every sacrifice ought to leave me with as much to gain. 

And whether or not this is true, I find myself favoring, even hoping, this paradigm might hold truth. It would grant more control, and we climbers certainly crave control. And yet, desire alone doesn't beget outcome. To climb at our best, desire must be accompanied by both discipline and privilege. I wouldn't give myself top marks in any of these categories, but I do think I rank pretty high in each - especially desire and privilege. 

Climbing on this wall is itself one of life's greatest privileges...though not what I mean when I mention privilege.

So what if it were true? Would that bring me closer to climbing 9a? Closer to being a lifelong climber? Closer to helping others understand and build their relationship with climbing? Closer to chasing novel experiences at home and abroad? Closer to others with whom to share those experiences?

And what if it's not true? Are my "sacrifices" in vain? Or would climbing not being zero sum simply mean I get to have my cake and eat it? Get to prioritize others and myself. Prioritize myself and my climbing. Even as I write this out, I agree with both sides. To be our best in something requires sacrifice. But to be our best in something often requires us to rely on others as much as ourselves.

So yes, I do want to climb 9a, be a lifelong climber, help and coach others...and these aspirations may not all work in conjunction. Can I coach, travel, and peak in my climbing? Can I effectively share my experience/knowledge without being rooted in one place? Neither question is as simple as "yes" or "no", but trying to exemplify "yes" to the best of my ability seems to be what occupies most of my foreseeable future. Let's see...